You opened that window
even though you knew
I needed it to remain closed
always
and you watched as I fumbled
desperate to draw it shut
tears forming, crying in
heaving sobs
body trembling.
You watched as I stood naked
unable to hide
clutching my body
falling
foetal to the ground.
Then you pushed it shut
as if it hadn't happened
without saying a word
and it wasn't my window any more
for you'd seen through it
and it never closed
not completely
not ever again.
29 comments:
Such strength of feeling in this story. So vulnerable.
so sad and powerful...a vulnerability was exploited, a innocence violated
I think this is such wonderful writing. Deep, poignant and powerful. I wish I had written it. :-)
Wonderful Magpie!
My Magpie
Deborah I enjoyed this piece - but I am not sure that a slightly open window isn't a bad thing.
so powerful, full of feelings!!
great Magpie
thanks for visiting my place :)
have a great weekend
It's been used a number of times, but it's true. "Powerful" is the word.
Thank you everso much for your comments, they're much appreciated x
Facing, and letting go of scenes you saw through that window has to be good. The view from here on may be beautiful...
Beautifully written! Nice Magpie
I'm feeling open windows are a good thing and that this has a positive ending.
Fear of the unknown is something we all experience - well written.
ouch- so very sad. Well done!
Thanks also for your nice comments.
Somethings cannot be undone, there are too many windows which can no longer be shut in this world.
unique take on the prompt...
we can always have two opposite takes on one single thing.
love your courage and more..
have a fun weekend.
Sometimes you have to open something to expose it to the air. Like a wound it will heal better that way. Wonderful piece.
Wow. That is all I can say.
It touched me...
fortune tellers
So sad when ur power is taken away.
wow. this one is raw with feeling...and in losing control...nice magpie!
Strong feelings very well expressed in the poem!
Powerful and beautiful...
It did speak a lot...
Thanks again for reading and leaving a comment, it's much appreciated :o) x
very sad and depressing..
How you have expressed is amazing.. keep writing My Friend.. :D
Vulnerability is a frightening emotion, I think...
Deep sense of loss & vulnerability - well said.
I feel the emotion. I get the emotion. Powerful, raw, centering the reader right in the moment. Very cool.
Strong powerful and emotive writing, and at the same time frail.
Nice writing for the magpie tale prompt.
joanny
http://thedowsersdaughter.blogspot.com/
The very picture of vulnerability, this is. The helplessness is palpable and I admire your concrete images. Love this poem......cj
Thank you all so much for your lovely comments x :o)
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