Knickers-R-Us!

I was putting the washing around on the radiators the other day and as always, I  finished with the underwear which I put in the bedrooms.
Usually I put my daughters in her room so they're ready for her when they're dry, but as she was still asleep they went in my bedroom next to mine.
So what, you may be thinking.
Well the thing is, this was the first time it really hit me about the size of my knickers ... they are ENORMOUS!
When placed next to my daughters, I couldn't help wondering if she still had her Barbie dolls and she'd given me theirs by mistake. When I held mine up, I swear there would have been enough fabric in them to clothe a small child.
This got me thinking.
I put them back on the radiator and decided to have a rummage in my knicker drawer just to see if I did have any pretty/nice/smaller ones left.
To my surprise, there tucked at the very back behind the large ones was a thong with the price sticker still on (unused! I must have known even then that my bum would eat it alive)  then I found a pair of shorts type knickers, and lastly a sheer supportive pair of knickers that looked quite promising.
Well I decided to try them on and see if I could maybe get out of the knickers-R-Us style undies.
I picked up the thong and looked at it for almost 2 seconds before relegating it to my daughters drawer. Then I tried on the shorts.
As I stood in front of the mirror, it crossed my mind that someone may have sneaked in and changed the mirror for one of those you get at the fair (the ones that distort your body for a laugh) as my legs looked, even for me (my partner calls me monkey legs) unnaturally short, so I decided that these were not a good look for me and I threw them back on the bed.
There was just the sheer (slightly transparent and a touch sexy I thought) supportive pair left to try on.
I was full of hope as I squeezed them on, and I could feel they were holding everything well and truly in place.
Then I turned to the mirror.
Well, imagine my shock when I looked at the knickers expecting to go Oooh only to see my tummy all squished up and looking like a bank robbers face with a pair of tights pulled over his head staring back at me!  (just be glad you weren't there, it was scary)
Well that was it, I peeled them off and pulled on my big, stretchy, opaque knickers and breathed a sigh of relief.
You really can't beat a generously sized knicker for comfort.