Thursday, 14 October 2010

Window - Magpie Tales # 36

Magpie Tales  hosts a weekly writing prompt, write a small vignette or poem using the photo below as your inspiration.


You opened that window
even though you knew
I needed it to remain closed
always
and you watched as I fumbled
desperate to draw it shut
tears forming, crying in
heaving sobs
body trembling.
You watched as I stood naked
unable to hide
clutching my body
falling
foetal to the ground.
Then you pushed it shut
as if it hadn't happened
without saying a word
and it wasn't my window any more
for you'd seen through it
and it never closed
not completely
not ever again.

29 comments:

Monkey Man said...

Such strength of feeling in this story. So vulnerable.

Rene/ Not The Rockefellers said...

so sad and powerful...a vulnerability was exploited, a innocence violated

Susannah said...

I think this is such wonderful writing. Deep, poignant and powerful. I wish I had written it. :-)

Wonderful Magpie!

My Magpie

madamebutterfly said...

Deborah I enjoyed this piece - but I am not sure that a slightly open window isn't a bad thing.

Gabriela Abalo said...

so powerful, full of feelings!!

great Magpie

thanks for visiting my place :)

have a great weekend

Berowne said...

It's been used a number of times, but it's true. "Powerful" is the word.

Deborah said...

Thank you everso much for your comments, they're much appreciated x

Jinksy said...

Facing, and letting go of scenes you saw through that window has to be good. The view from here on may be beautiful...

umapoems said...

Beautifully written! Nice Magpie

willow said...

I'm feeling open windows are a good thing and that this has a positive ending.

jabblog said...

Fear of the unknown is something we all experience - well written.

kathew said...

ouch- so very sad. Well done!
Thanks also for your nice comments.

Ana said...

Somethings cannot be undone, there are too many windows which can no longer be shut in this world.

Jingle said...

unique take on the prompt...

we can always have two opposite takes on one single thing.
love your courage and more..
have a fun weekend.

Kristen Haskell said...

Sometimes you have to open something to expose it to the air. Like a wound it will heal better that way. Wonderful piece.

Sarah said...

Wow. That is all I can say.

gautami tripathy said...

It touched me...

fortune tellers

kathi harris said...

So sad when ur power is taken away.

Brian Miller said...

wow. this one is raw with feeling...and in losing control...nice magpie!

Strummed Words said...

Strong feelings very well expressed in the poem!

Erratic Thoughts said...

Powerful and beautiful...
It did speak a lot...

Deborah said...

Thanks again for reading and leaving a comment, it's much appreciated :o) x

Olivia said...

very sad and depressing..
How you have expressed is amazing.. keep writing My Friend.. :D

Tumblewords: said...

Vulnerability is a frightening emotion, I think...

nimaruichi said...

Deep sense of loss & vulnerability - well said.

Selma said...

I feel the emotion. I get the emotion. Powerful, raw, centering the reader right in the moment. Very cool.

joanny said...

Strong powerful and emotive writing, and at the same time frail.

Nice writing for the magpie tale prompt.

joanny
http://thedowsersdaughter.blogspot.com/

cj Schlottman said...

The very picture of vulnerability, this is. The helplessness is palpable and I admire your concrete images. Love this poem......cj

Deborah said...

Thank you all so much for your lovely comments x :o)