Monday, 6 June 2011

Big Head!

There were 4 major incidents as I was growing up that made me aware of the size of my head.

The first was when I was about 5.

I was a real tomboy and loved to climb and venture where I shouldn't, and this day I'd decided to put my head through some railings... like you do.  I'd gauged the gap and feeling confident about its sizing, I'd pushed and pushed, grunting like a pig until finally I did it. I can remember feeling really pleased with myself for about 3 seconds, until I tried to reverse it back out. It was then the realisation hit me ... I was well and truly stuck.
I can remember the look of panic on my Mums face as she fiddled with my ears, pressing them against my head in order to get me free. Looking back, it was obvious that my ears were contributing to the problem, but at that moment, I knew only one thing
... my head was a LOT bigger than I'd thought it was!


The second was when I was about 9 in my middle school.

The whole year were to re-enact a Saxon and Viking battle on the playing field. We all had to make our own axe or sword, our own shield and our own helmet. The teacher set about measuring heads and cutting strips of  cardboard to the right length  then stapling them together. Then we all put paper mache on them, and with our names written proudly inside, we went out to play while they dried.
As we came back into the room and saw all of them lined up on the side, it was obvious that one of them was considerably bigger than the rest.
Karl from the other class shouted ... so everyone could hear.

"Who made that big helmet?"

The teacher quickly responded by reading aloud the name proudly emblazoned inside.

Yes ... you guessed it ... it was me!

This prompted Karl to add

"Your head's MASSIVE!"

My suspicions were well and truly confirmed.

The third incident was as a direct result of the above.

A family head measuring was initiated, which, if I recall correctly, I won. There really wasn't much in it, as it became clear from the measuring where I'd actually gotten my head size.
Genes.
My Dad and my Sister's heads were also generously proportioned.
My Mum on the other hand, although not tiny headed, was not as big as the rest of us. We all had at least an inch on her, and so from this point she was known as 'the pin head'.

The fourth incident was in my teens.

I was in town one Saturday afternoon with my friend and we both decided it would be fun to go and try hats on in Debenhams.
There we stood in front of a huge mirror and an assortment of beautiful hats, and I watched as my much smaller headed friend tried on one hat after the other, all of them framing her face and looking absolutely fantastic on her.
Then it was her turn to watch me.
She stood in absolute hysterics as I tried, or should I say balanced every hat, one after the other Mr.Potato Head style on the top of my head.

All I could hear, apart from her laughing, was Karl's voice from the middle school in my head chanting over and over

"Your head's MASSIVE ... your head's MASSIVE!"

Well there it was, it was conclusive ... I officially had a Carnival Head.


As I grew older and began dating seriously, I just knew that when I eventually settled down with someone, they HAD to have a bigger head than me. I had a few regular size headed boyfriends, which I knew from the start wouldn't work given the size of their head, and then ... I met my lovely partner. Now technically his head, in circumference is one and a half inches smaller than mine, but, and this was the clincher
... his face was MASSIVE!
When I looked in the mirror alongside him, for the first time in my life, I felt like a regular headed person.
Well that was that ... he was a keeper.
20 or so years on, we have a very beautiful, large headed daughter, and as a unit, know that we do give off a sort of carnival vibe.
So
We have an unspoken understanding between us, that if ever the Carnival comes to town ... we stay at home!

39 comments:

Susannah said...

This just made me literally laugh out loud! Luckily I had just swallowed a mouth full of coffee or it could have gotten messy!

I can vouch for every word of this - but it still makes me giggle uncontrollably to read it! :-)

Brilliant!

jabblog said...

Excellent! I'm something of a pinhead and rather conscious of it so I'd better not stand next to you;-)

Mamma has spoken said...

Big head means you needed more room for your big brain!Big brain means you are all the more smarter than the others. That's my thoughts and I'm sticking to them.

Elizabeth Grimes said...

Lol! We all have insecurities...I feel like I have "man hands." This was fun to read. :)

Elizabeth said...

I had issues with my head for very different reasons. Mine is a bit concave on one side and sports a huge u shaped scar from a car accident when I was four. I was always terrified that some important aspect of my 'gray matter' had slipped out before the doctors closed the hole. I really like your string of stories better, they made me laugh out loud and that's wonderful for Monday morning,

Elizabeth

jaerose said...

Tsk..you need a big head to house a big brain! Besides railings and hats are designed for skinny heads..Jae :)

Jarvis said...

For a big head, that's poor use of a noggin. haha.

Lynette Killam said...

Oh, this is so funny, Deborah...all the more because I can totally identify with it! I have a big head, too, and can never find a hat that fits. I married a big-headed man, and of our two sons, only one suffers the family affliction. This shared problem is further compounded by the fact that we all have great thick hair, as if our heads needed any help in that department. Whoever's in charge of the universe has a twisted sense of humour...LOL!

Linda said...

I couldn't help but smile at the telling of these tales, but I grimaced at the pain you must have felt over the issue, especially when Karl, your school chump, loudly pointed it out to all your classmates. The Karls of this world can cause untold pain. I'm glad you can find the humor in it now.

Mary said...

I sort of lost track of your blog, but I'm so glad I'm back now! That's such a funny write! I'm pin headed myself, and feel like my body looks massive under my puny head! lol, the grass is always greener I guess...

Christine said...

You didn't mention birthing the big headed daughter, perhaps we'll just pretend I didn't ask that. Fun post, I have a big headed friend, and she did give birth to 10 pound big headed babies, three of them, each one getting bigger. ouch

Deborah said...

Thank you all for stopping by and for your wonderful comments, they really made me smile :o) x

Mandy said...

OMG! Hahaha.... an amazing post! I loved it!

Pheromone Girl said...

What an awesome story - and an awesome attitude. LOVE IT! (Having big ears makes me love it even more!)

Selma said...

OMG. I can't stop laughing. I have a big head too. This is so funny. When I was at school we had to wear hats and I had to get mine specially made because my head is so big. A lot of the time I can't wear polo neck jumpers because I can't get my head through the hole. Thank you for such a great laugh *snort*

Sandra said...

Ok, I'm laughing out loud (and I'm trying to keep it quiet because everyone is in bed) but all I could think of was, "I wonder if she wears hats?"
How very strategic of you to marry a man who would make your head look comparatively smaller.
You are, like, a genius!

Deborah said...

Don't get me started on polo necks! LOL
Thank you all ever so much for your fantastic comments :o) x

cj Schlottman said...

This is hilarious! As always, your writing is readable and smooth, flows nicely. I, also, have a large head (and rather generous ears). When I was about five years old, my daddy told me it was designed to house a considerable brain! Never worried about it again......cj

Deborah said...

Thank you cj x :o)
... I do like the thought of 'housing a considerable brain' LOL

RonJoe 'Geezer' said...

Greetings From Southern California

I am your newest follower. I invite you to visit my blog and follow back if you want too.

Have a Nice Day :-)

Deborah said...

Thanks for visiting ... and following RonJoe! You have a wonderful day too x

Toyin O. said...

This is so fuuny:)

Deborah said...

Thank you Toyin :o) x

Friko said...

Big heads have big brains inside them
It's a fact!
So there, tell that to Carl.

Harry Nicholson said...

They are good snippets of biography.

I have a similar issue. When I was preparing for life at sea the naval outfitters had to send away for a special over-large cap. They joked they were getting it built at John Brown's yard on the Clyde.

Deborah said...

Thank you for visiting Friko and Harry ... and for your great comments :o) x

earlybird said...

Ahh! :) I need (extra) LARGE size hats too! I know just how you felt in Debenhams...

Deborah said...

There are more big heads out there than I thought! LOL
Thanks for the visit earlybird x :o)

Pearl said...

Love that you nicknamed your mom "pin head". :-)

Pearl

Deborah said...

She wasn't quite so pleased, LOL.
Thanks for stopping by Pearl :o)x

Giggle, Laugh, Cry said...

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Congratulations!!!!

Deborah said...

That's so lovely of you Giggle, thank you everso much x :o)

*The Old Geezer said...

What a great story! The best laugh I've had in weeks! Thank you! :-)

BTW, I always thought people with big heads had more brains and were a lot smarted than the rest of us.

Deborah said...

Oh I am glad, thank you Old Geezer x :o)

Al Penwasser said...

You may have a carnival head (I love that term, by the way), but at least you don't smell like cabbage like any other carny (I lifted that from Austin Powers).
You know what they say about big heads? Big hats (did you expect me to say something different?).
Embrace your head. Hey, even though embracing your head may look weird, it shows how much pride you have.

ShanimalsCrackers.blogspot.com said...

Haha. Having a big head isn't a bad thing. Don't you remember that episode of Seinfeld where the guy she breaks up with tells her she has a big head? Hey, she had plenty of guys!

Deborah said...

:o) Thank you Al and Shanimal for stopping by you great comments! x

Madeleine Begun Kane said...

LOL! I remember reading that movie and TV stars tend to have large heads (I don't mean egos -- I mean heads.) Apparently cameras love large heads. So don't feel bad! :)

Deborah said...

Thanks for stopping by Madelaine, a TV career awaits! LOL :O)