Tuesday, 8 February 2011

Knickers-R-Us!

I was putting the washing around on the radiators the other day and as always, I  finished with the underwear which I put in the bedrooms.
Usually I put my daughters in her room so they're ready for her when they're dry, but as she was still asleep they went in my bedroom next to mine.
So what, you may be thinking.
Well the thing is, this was the first time it really hit me about the size of my knickers ... they are ENORMOUS!
When placed next to my daughters, I couldn't help wondering if she still had her Barbie dolls and she'd given me theirs by mistake. When I held mine up, I swear there would have been enough fabric in them to clothe a small child.
This got me thinking.
I put them back on the radiator and decided to have a rummage in my knicker drawer just to see if I did have any pretty/nice/smaller ones left.
To my surprise, there tucked at the very back behind the large ones was a thong with the price sticker still on (unused! I must have known even then that my bum would eat it alive)  then I found a pair of shorts type knickers, and lastly a sheer supportive pair of knickers that looked quite promising.
Well I decided to try them on and see if I could maybe get out of the knickers-R-Us style undies.
I picked up the thong and looked at it for almost 2 seconds before relegating it to my daughters drawer. Then I tried on the shorts.
As I stood in front of the mirror, it crossed my mind that someone may have sneaked in and changed the mirror for one of those you get at the fair (the ones that distort your body for a laugh) as my legs looked, even for me (my partner calls me monkey legs) unnaturally short, so I decided that these were not a good look for me and I threw them back on the bed.
There was just the sheer (slightly transparent and a touch sexy I thought) supportive pair left to try on.
I was full of hope as I squeezed them on, and I could feel they were holding everything well and truly in place.
Then I turned to the mirror.
Well, imagine my shock when I looked at the knickers expecting to go Oooh only to see my tummy all squished up and looking like a bank robbers face with a pair of tights pulled over his head staring back at me!  (just be glad you weren't there, it was scary)
Well that was it, I peeled them off and pulled on my big, stretchy, opaque knickers and breathed a sigh of relief.
You really can't beat a generously sized knicker for comfort.

25 comments:

jabblog said...

I often wonder how (or even why) my daughters and granddaughters wear such tiny underpinnings. I prefer comfort . . .

Deborah said...

jabblog, I couldn't agree more! :o)
(... and I love 'tiny underpinnings')

jaerose said...

Nothing wrong with comfy-big-pants...I think it's one of the pleasures of growing older - no more uncomfortable moments of fearing things will fall down..everything safely pulled up, tucked in and tightly secured with a sturdy elastic waistline Jae ;)

Deborah said...

Nothing at all! ... thanks for stopping by Jae :o)

Friko said...

white cotton knickers from M&S, four or five in a pack, that's me happy.

Deborah said...

Aah yes Friko ... you can't go wrong with a multipack from M&S! :o)

earlybird said...

I loved the visual of your tummy compressed like a bank robber's face in a stocking - had me laughing out loud! Treat yourself, go and buy some really nice matching underwear - from M & S if you like (it doesn't have to cost a fortune) It could be the start of a whole new you! :)

Deborah said...

I may just do that earlybird, I don't think I can even remember the last time my underwear matched!
Thanks so much for stopping by :o)

Stafford Ray said...

"You really can't beat a generously sized knicker for comfort!" I dunno, a pair of Y fronts comes close!

Deborah said...

I wouldn't know about that Stafford! LOL :o)

Rashmi said...

Deborah...it just left me laughing...
ha..ha..

Mamma has spoken said...

I'm still wondering how anyone wears underwear that is the equavelent of wear dental floss for your butt.....

Deborah said...

I'm glad it made you laugh Rashmi, and Mamma has spoken ...dental floss for your butt ... that's so funny! :o)

Kim Nelson said...

Oh My Gosh! So dog-gone funny, because any of us over a certain age with daughters can relate. Terrific post!

Deborah said...

Thanks Kim, and thanks so much for stopping by :o)

sharplittlepencil said...

Deborah, my daughter and I call thongs "butt floss" and she refuses to wear them. Although I noticed on our final shopping run before she moved to CA that she was choosing some cute patterns, I'm strictly a white cotton girl... ha ha Amy BL

Deborah said...

I can't believe I've never heard 'butt floss' before LOL, great to see you amy :o)

Pat said...

I'm all for comfort over style.

I call it the "muffin-top" look when I squeeze into my too-tight jeans that I bought when I was 15 pounds lighter.

faith said...

Oh, my, this had me laughing so hard - especially "I must have known even then that my bum would eat it alive!" Thanks for the laugh!!

Portia said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog! LOVE this post! My daughter refers to my underwear as "Granny Panties." I am a grandmother now, so I suppose she is correct!

Deborah said...

Thanks so much for the visit Pat, Portia ans Faith ... and for your comments, they really did make me smile :o)

Selma said...

Hilarious. I relate to this so much. The image of the bank robber with the stocking over his head has cracked me up so much. Give me comfort over gauzy torture any time. Love it!

swapnap said...

I had a hearty laugh reading this one.lol.So true.

Thank You for stopping by my blog.

Pat - Arkansas said...

I laughed so hard while reading this post! Fortunately, I don't have any young-thing's knickers in the house to which I could compare mine, but I'm sure I'd feel the same way. A bank-robber's face behind a stocking is a great description! There is a good reason my full length mirror is behind the door! :)

Thanks for your visit to my first Magpie Tales contribution. I appreciate your comment.

Deborah said...

Thanks Pat, swapnap and Selma, so glad my knicker exploits made you laugh :o) x