Wednesday, 9 March 2011


It was just another day.

I started in the bathroom, staring at the toothbrushes for 2 minutes trying to remember which one was mine.
I know there had been a debate on the colour, and that I had given a reason as to why I wanted it, but even though I could recall this, they all just looked wrong somehow.
I had an inkling that the day was announcing itself early,
but undeterred I went about the morning purposefully.

Other than arriving in the kitchen and the bedroom and not having the faintest idea why I was there, all seemed to be going smoothly.
Then I decided to do the washing.
Big mistake!
I could already feel it was one of those days that sometimes led to the 'WHAT IF' scenarios that could just pop in to my head uninvited,
and it wasn't long before one did.
There I was sorting the washing only to come across my partners jumper.

The tears sprang from nowhere,
along with the poem ...

She sat eyes closed
and gathered his jumper around her
breathing it in
and he was there
her gentle man
her love
her life
and tears filled her eyes
as her heart broke all over again.

Well I rang my partner to check he was alive ...  he was,
and as always, he asked patiently.

"What was it this time?"

"Your jumper."

"Just leave the washing and take Grace out for a walk, it'll make you feel better."

It was good advice, so out I went.

There was a lost poo incident, but this wasn't hormone related, Grace had just gone a little too far away and when I got there 'it' had completely disappeared.
If you have a dog then you'll know this can happen.
Well there were people around, so I leant down and picked up a twig and a leaf and tied my bag sharply then carried on my way.

The day continued after that with minimal drama.

I remembered my toothbrush was blue!
A definite EUREKA moment and high point of the day, and then there were a few unfinished conversations where the point I was trying to get across, simply disappeared leaving me mid sentence ... with nothing! ... but other than that I thought I'd coped with the day admirably.

When evening came I decided to relax.
I put my feet up and nestled myself into the sofa without a care
and rounded the day off with
a lovely old film
a curry
a large glass of wine
one massive hot sweat
and then took myself up to bed at 9.00pm ... ready for another day!


jabblog said...

Oh, Deborah, you wear your heart on your sleeve - how lovely:-)
I think Evening Primrose oil is supposed to be a good supplement to take for 'that time of life'. I never got around to it myself - sigh!

Deborah said...

Aww thank you jabblog x ... I've 'just' starting taking evening primrose, so fingers crossed! LOL :o)

Mary said...

Ack - those hormones! And yet, I suppose we'll miss them when they're gone.

Hilary said...

I hope symptoms ease for you soon. I've been very lucky on this journey.. so far. ;)

Friko said...

Plenty of exercise, lots of water, all the supplements you can cram in, and you'll still feel not much better.

The only thing that helps is to realise that it'll all be over some day and you'll be old.
Oops. no that's no good either.

All you can hope for is to retain a sense of humour.
And while you are writing lovely posts like this one, I don't see much danger of you losing yours.

tattytiara said...

You faked picking up dog poo? My dear that's scandalous? Brilliant and hilarious too, but still, scandalous!

Rashmi said...

I am wondering..what to say...You seem to be soo sensitive and you have narrated everything so touchingly...that even I who doesn't know you feel very sad....
This poem goes straight to the heart...
Hope you are ok now...

earlybird said...

your partner sounds a real love!

Deborah said...

Umm, I'll let you know Mary LOL
Thanks for your visit x

Thanks everso for your visit Hillary x :o)

'it'll all be over some day and you'll be old' ... now that did make me laugh, thanks Friko x :o)

It really is scandalous tattytiara ... but what can you do! LOL thanks for your visit x :o)

Aaw thank you Rashmi, yes I'm fine, it was just one of those fleeting thoughts that prompted it x

Thanks earlybird x ... and yes, he is a love :o)

Raven said...

Faking picking up poop? I'd so do that!

I hate it when you walk into a room and can't figure out why the heck you went there in the first place! However, I'm so happy to find that I'm not the only one who does that!

Lately I've been crying at the drop of a hat too. Mostly over things I won't see/hear/have to do when my youngest has moved out of the house.

Deborah said...

I'm glad I'm not the only one who'd fake picking up poop! LOL ... and crying at the drop of a hat, I know!
Thanks fo stopping by Raven x :o)

Mamma has spoken said...

Hum, I wish my dogs' poop vanished by the time I get there but in my world it seems to grow every second it's on the ground.....
Hang in there, those hormones will even out sometime. It might take years, but it will happen.

Deborah said...

Thanks Mamma x
and as for the poop, I literally can't find it if she 'goes' too far away ... very embarassing! P'haps it's that my eyes are going too LOL :O)

Reb said...

Deborah I know exactly what you are going through and some days it can be downright frustrating! My dog was big enough you couldn't miss his poo, but, yeah, I would have faked picking up too ;)
Thanks for dropping by my photo blog.

Deborah said...

Glad I'm not the only one! Thanks for stopping by my blog too Reb :o)

Christine said...

I hate changing the toothbrushes, in a house of 6 we all get muddled with the colours. What really freaks me out is why no one can hang their jackets in the closet correctly. I understand my Mom now when she would through them down into the basement when we did that. Keep smiling.

manders said...

fake poop scooping is a stroke of genius! even if the real poo is still there...

Nezzy said...

Oh honey, I hear ya loud and clear on those stinkin' menopausal moments but dang it to thunder, I'm 58 and have eight grandkiddos...enough already. that outta my system. Heeehehe!!!!

I just wanted to thank you for visitin' with your sweet comment. Please drop in often, the door of the Ponderosa is always open.

From the happy hills and hollers,ya'll have a wonderfully blessed day!!! :o)

Deborah said...

Thanks for stopping by Christine, 6 toothbrushes eek I'd be completely lost then! LOL :o)

Manders, LOL! x :o)

Nezzy what a wonderful comment, I can actually hear that lovely accent, thank you :o)

Anonymous said...

Thank God it's not just me. What with all that hot flushing (or is it flashing?) crying, getting mad, getting sad again, forgetting things and so on I was thinking I was beginning to lose my mind. I cried over a broken sole on a shoe the other day like I had lost my dearest friend. I hear ya, hon. I hear ya!!

Deborah said...

LOL ... a broken sole on a shoe, of course you'd cry! :o)
Thanks Selma x

trisha said...

i like the way you tackle life's up and downs. its very inspiring and uplifting.


Deborah said...

Thank you Trisha x :o)